Love shouldn’t hurt

Love Shouldn't Hurt - Ever

Monday, 17 February 2025 11:26

Technological Abuse
by Teresia Smith

Did you know that 1 in 4 dating teens are harassed or abused through technology? I am sure many of you have heard the old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. That is so wrong. Often when working with clients who have been abused, the mental and emotional aspects take far longer to heal than the physical. Words that an abuser uses are like broken records in a victim’s mind, playing over and over until they burn into their thoughts and become real. Words are powerful weapons. Saying hurtful or demeaning things, swearing at you, threatening to destroy your belongings, and yelling at you constantly are all examples of emotional abuse. It is also emotional abuse to use social media or other technology to degrade, coerce, control, or embarrass someone. Emotional abuse is another type of intimate partner violence. How can this show up in real life? What are some ways people use digital technology to hurt others?
Rainne.org lists some of the ways a person can use digital technology in a sexually explicit or violating way.
•Catfishing, or lying about one’s identity online in order to initiate a romantic or sexual relationship

•Cyberbullying, or the “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices” often to threat, harass, or humiliate another
•Cyberstalking by monitoring someone’s whereabouts with GPS or other tracking systems or persistently contacting someone against their will through text, email, social media, or other digital platforms
•Distributing or threatening to distribute sexual or intimate images of someone without their consent, also known as digital sexual assault or revenge porn
•Hacking into someone’s online accounts or devices to steal personal images or information not intended for public sharing
•Posting shaming, embarrassing, sensitive, or otherwise inappropriate information about someone on social media or other public sites, whether it is true or not
•Pressuring you to send explicit images of yourself

•Sending sexually explicit emails, chats, texts, photos, videos, or emojis that are unwelcome or unsolicited
Especially during the teen years, this type of abuse can be catastrophic. Often this abuse can lead to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, feelings of shame and humiliation, increased stress, panic attacks, PTSD, difficulty concentrating, sleep disorders, and suicidal ideation. So, what can you do?
•First, talk with a trusted adult and engage with your support system. Seek counseling as needed.
•Keep evidence by taking screenshots immediately or printing out text messages, social media posts, or other exchanges. Make sure your screenshots contain the information of the person who is being harmful and the time stamp. Some information is easily deleted—a picture or hard copy can provide evidence that the content was sent.

•If you are in school and the person harassing you goes to your school, you can report to the principal and counselors.
•If you are experiencing the harassment or abuse through a social media platform, app, or online game, you can report through the site.
•If you receive communication that is threatening, part of a pattern of abuse, or consistent with harassment, don’t hesitate to contact law enforcement or a lawyer. Even if you do not wish to pursue a criminal case, you may be able to move forward with a civil case. You may be able to use the evidence you collect to gain an order of protection that includes contact over social media and other digital platforms.

Take necessary steps to protect yourself online. Do not share personal information. Turn off location services on apps. Do not open anything from unknown sources. Be careful what photos you share. Those are just a few ways you can be proactive in protecting yourself.
If you or a loved one are experiencing intimate partner abuse or sexual abuse, Crisis Services of North Alabama offers free and confidential services. You may contact our Jackson County office at 256.574.5826 for an appointment with an advocate. We also offer a free 24/7 HELPline, where you can speak with a trained crisis counselor at any time. You may reach that line at 256.716.1000. Please reach out. You are not alone.