Help for families of the addicted

News

Friday, 09 August 2024 11:10

Have you ever heard the phrase, “I can’t stand a thief,” or “I hate a thief”? Those phrases are said millions of times a day in reference to a person stealing something. Those two phrases also make my skin crawl. Addiction and theft are closely linked. The true thief is addiction.
In the U.S. 1.16 million Americans are arrested yearly for drug-related offenses and 80 percent of prison inmates abuse drugs or alcohol. Over 97,000 Americans die from drug overdoses in one year. Seven out of ten of those are due to opiods.

I would place a wager that every person in Jackson County is either affected by or knows someone affected by addiction, whether it’s a loved one who is the addict or a friend. We all know someone.

I was the lucky one. The father of my brothers and me was an addict. Our grandfather fought alcoholism. My brother fought both addiction and alcoholism. I was only saved from these things because of my brother’s protection.

When I was younger, I remember looking at women who had lost their children to addiction and thinking, “What is wrong with them? How could they let that happen?” Over the years, I became a little softer. I saw how this addiction stuff affected my family and how loving an addict affected me and my life. I became educated, and then I decided to do something about it. I became involved in the recovery community.

When I worked in the City of Bridgeport, I was blown away by the amount of generational addicts I saw daily. It broke my heart. Today I am more aware, and I see them everywhere.
My heart broke each time a young adult would come to me and talk to me about their addictions. Several of those young adults are now clean, but not without some hard work and tough love from their families.

Several of the women have gone through The Father’s House in Rainsville. The Father’s House is a 12-month faith-based program. It is a tough program. At the end of the 12 months, participants must have saved funds for housing, transportation and be working in order to graduate. The Father’s House is currently working to purchase a facility. More information about this program can be found at www.facebook.com/thefathershousea4c or by reaching out to me.

One young man, who we are going to call “K”, really stuck with me. When I first met him and he became involved in the court system, his attitude was terrible. He was broken. He didn’t understand how much he was loved by his family. I often would speak to these young adults about my brother’s struggle, and about losing a niece at the young age of 18 and how hard it was not to just do what I could to take the pain away. Eventually this terrible attitude of K’s changed. He opened up as he realized that people cared. After hours of listening, I found out this young man had lost a brother. K was adopted at a young age and was raised by a different family. He often blamed himself for not being with his brother. The real grasp of addiction hit me when he said, “I want to stay clean. It’s like my brain is messed up. The thought of getting high gives me the same feeling I had when Santa came at Christmas.”

K ended up being arrested and placed in jail. His mother was irate. She was hurting and it was obvious. So, here I go talking to her about addiction. About how it’s not her fault and while it feels like it’s his fault, it really wasn’t. He was using substances (his drug of choice was Spice) to cover up the hurt, even though it was just a temporary band aid. K struggled. He’d get clean and then use again. He was as rebellious as he could be against his recovery. Finally, he decided to go to treatment. Treatment helped. Then he came home, and his addictions crept right back in. Often times recovery works, but for it to continue working, you have to continue to work. After another treatment center, K went to live in sober living and is doing well today. He’s young. He has the whole world and his whole life to look forward to. He has a heart of gold and will always hold a special place in my heart. After all, that could have been me or one of my children. Keep this in mind. You never know when this tragedy is going to affect you or the ones you love. As a child no one says, “I want to be an addict when I grow up.” Sometimes it just creeps up, and before we know it, we’re lost in the world of addiction.

K’s mom became an advocate for others loving an addicted family member. She became part of a nonprofit faith based group, PAL (Parents of Addicted Loved Ones), a support group of family members affected by loving an addict.

PAL is run in two parts. The first part has an educational component and the second part allows for those in attendance to share experiences.

Tammy has been pounding the payment all around Jackson County in search of a place to hold a PAL meeting for Jackson County families.

Tammy says, “I have recently become a facilitator for a support group for people that have addicted loved ones. I am a parent of an addicted son. I have learned so many educational ways that I can help him instead of enabling him. I used to think that enabling was saying, ‘Here’s you some money – go buy drugs.’

Unfortunately enabling is so much more. This organization has been a tremendous lifesaver for me; emotionally and spiritually. I know there is a great need for a support group for families in the Jackson County area. We are a non-profit ,faith-based organization.”

Tammy’s hard work has finally paid off. PAL meetings in Jackson County will begin on September 3, 2024 at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, located at 402 S. Scott Street in Scottsboro. The meeting will begin at 6 p.m.

More information about PAL can be found at palgroup.org

I pray that if you or your family is being affected by addiction, you will reach out and join the group. I’ll see you there. There are resources to help. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

by Heather Dohring