Love shouldn’t hurt-ever

Love Shouldn't Hurt - Ever

Wednesday, 29 May 2024 07:43

Connection and Loneliness
by Teresia Smith

Recently someone who was going through a stressful time mentioned to me that they didn’t have anyone in which they truly could confide. I asked about the friends they socialize with and about the many social media contacts they have and they just shrugged and said no. There have been many people over the years who have expressed loneliness to me, even though they appear to be well connected online. Social media has made us feel linked with the world but in reality, those are not true relationships. Our world seems very connected, though in reality, more than ever before, we are further isolated. So, what exactly is loneliness and how did we get here?
The experience of loneliness is different for everyone. It’s very individual and personal to each of us. Some people really rather not have a lot of contact with others, while many enjoy socialization. Loneliness can be experienced in different ways. One is emotional loneliness, which is a lack of emotional attachment to someone like a close friend or partner. A second way is social loneliness, which is a lack of a friend group who you do things with or share interests. And a third way is existential loneliness, which is a feeling of being disconnected from the world and others, and can include feelings of emptiness, isolation, and sadness. Some feel loneliness only at certain times, like holidays, while others may feel loneliness all the time.

Loneliness can have physical symptoms and it can also affect our behavior. You may get nervous and avoid social events, stop caring about your appearance and continue to withdraw from daily living, and even find it difficult to sleep. If your feelings of loneliness are severe and last a long time, you may want to seek medical attention as this may increase the risk of physical conditions.
There can be many reasons for our loneliness.

Sometimes there may be no obvious cause and it’s just how we feel. But when things happen to us in life, like losing a loved one, relocating to a new area, or a health condition that leaves us homebound, we can feel lonely. The break-up of a relationship can result in our feeling lost and lonely. Sadly, at times even those who are in abusive relationships choose to stay or return because they fear emotional loneliness and don’t have a support network. Crisis Services of North Alabama works to help victims of intimate partner violence build a support network to combat feelings that may cause a return to an abusive relationship.
Some ways to combat loneliness are:

1. Make a point to stay in contact. Regular contact with friends and family can help to combat loneliness. Just talking to someone in that moment can really help when you feel alone.

2. Join a group with like interests. Being in a group with like interests and activities you enjoy is a great way to connect to others.

3. Do things you enjoy. Filling your time doing things you like might be a way to stop you from focusing on your loneliness. Spending time outdoors, exercising, sports, reading, or listening to music are great ways to boost your mood.

4. Volunteer. Volunteering is also a great way to meet people, and seeing the benefits of your actions can really help to boost your mental wellbeing.
If you are in an abusive relationship, reach out to Crisis Services of North Alabama to learn of the services available to you. Fear of loneliness is not a reason to stay in a relationship where you are being abused. Call 256.574.5826 for an appointment at our Jackson County office. Reach out. You are not alone.