Love shouldn’t hurt-ever

Love Shouldn't Hurt - Ever

Wednesday, 22 May 2024 06:44

After Effects of Abuse
by Teresia Smith

We have all heard the old saying, “time heals all wounds”. Unfortunately, that is just not true for many survivors of domestic abuse. After experiencing abuse at the hands of a person who declared they loved you, moving on can be especially difficult. Fear and stress are natural after-effects of abuse, and the stress from abuse can increase your risk for health problems as much as 90 percent down the road.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. That old saying may have worked in childhood, but it’s a far cry from reality. Broken bones may heal much faster than emotional wounds. In the world of domestic violence, 60 percent of survivors report being depressed, along with crushing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. These feelings have an overwhelmingly negative effect on their emotional well-being. Abuse survivors tend to experience mental health disorders at a rate higher than the average population.

It isn’t always easy to identify emotional/psychological abuse, but some tactics used by abusers are bullying, degradation, name calling, lying, gaslighting, control, and threats of physical abuse. This abuse can cause a survivor to have low self-esteem, be unable to trust easily, experience anxiety and depression, and experience physical issues. What are some signs of anxiety and stress affecting your health? Do you find yourself always feeling tense or unable to relax? Do you have a sense of dread? Do you feel unable to stop worrying about things? Do you seek constant assurance from others or worry that others are upset with you? Do you feel depressed?

Do you feel disconnected? Those are all effects of anxiety. There have been studies that show that experiencing extreme anxiety can increase your risk of developing health issues such as diabetes, stomach ulcers, heart problems, digestive issues, insomnia, chronic headaches, and even suicidal thoughts. If you are experiencing physical symptoms and have been feeling anxious and stressed, a visit to your primary physician may be recommended.

The effects on a survivor’s physical and mental health can show up long after the abuse has ended. However, you can reduce these impacts by building a support network. Having trusted, supportive people in your life you can turn to can make all the difference in healing. Damage to a survivor’s mental health doesn’t heal like a broken bone. Mental health disorders often take time to treat. Having a support network with safe spaces to unpack feelings can help a survivor work through the emotions and come out healthier.
If you or a loved one have experienced intimate partner violence or sexual assault, Crisis Services of North Alabama is a safe place for you to start to build your support network. You may reach our Jackson County office to make an appointment at 256.574.5826. We also offer a 24/7 HELPline at 256.716.1000 where you can speak with a crisis counselor. Reach out today. You are not alone.