Written by Heather Garner Thursday, 09 March 2017 15:51
I am by no means an authority on this subject so my remarks here are just my own ideas of how to handle an addict after working with addicts for a lot of years.
First, cut off the money. Do not give them a single cent, not for food, not for gas, not for anything. Go get their gas, give them something to eat, never money! They will tell you anything to get money to buy drugs. Drugs turn them into liars, theives, cheaters, you name it and they will do it to get their next hit.
Next, take their transportation. One mother sold her son’s vehicle. If they have no money and no way to travel it slows them down considerably but there are still their buddies who will come for them. If you have the nerve, threaten the buddies within an inch of their lives if they come to your house again. Leave your addict penniless and walking.
Most parents cannot do this for one reason or another. Number one is they had rather give them money than listen to them. Number two is they feel sorry for them for many times they will be crying and begging but you have to think with your head not your heart.
Number three, both parents have to be in agreement. I know of cases where the mother took the car keys and the daddy gave them back. Mom cut off the money but dad kept furnishing it. Every dime you give him you may as well give him your approval to go buy drugs. They will forego food and everything else to get drugs.
It is such a sad situation. One that is hard for parents to handle. When I was doing jail ministry the thing that worked for me:
First I talked to them about The Lord, reminding them no matter how far they stray from him He never leaves them, that all they have to do is reach out and take His hand.
And I would ask them if they wanted to spend the rest of their lives wandering around in a fog. Of course, I was talking to sober people who were ready to listen and there were those who did listen and have a good life today. And there were those who just didn’t care and some who just didn’t have the courage and those who had no encouragement at home.
I think it is a waste of time talking to a popped up addict. It just bores most of them and they go on and do as they please anyway. But if you have the courage to refuse to give them a dime you are halfway there. One parent said to me “well, I’m afraid he will sell if I don’t give him money”. Well let him sell and pay the consequences. There is no easy way to handle an addict without help.
If you can get them to go to rehab it needs to be Christian-based and one year long. They have to not only quit drugs but they have to find and believe in Jesus Christ and believe He is their way to salvation because He is. I have never seen anyone in recovery that did not give the Lord credit for bringing them out of that terrible fog called drugs. Once they find the Lord they have found the key to sobriety.
I pray for all addicts and their families. It is so heartbreaking to see precious souls get hooked on drugs. It is so hard to see them change from a cute teenager to dirty clothes, no haircuts, out all night, trashy friends, a one-track mindset. No interest in the things that use to mean so much to them.
You are absolutely terrified and lost as a parent. Your hands are tied and you do not know what to do. Get help. You cannot do it yourself. And do not blame yourself. Many good parents have children who turn to drugs.
Who knows why. Many times its their friends. But don’t blame yourself. Just try to get them help.