Something came to my attention lately that I’m so old I had forgotten about.

I refer to teenage romance and that “first love.” That is sometimes so hard for a teenager to deal with especially if the parents do no approve of the chosen one but remember your child’s feelings before you start criticizing his or her “love” for they are more serious than they have ever been in their young lives and your criticism will hurt them to the very heart and soul.
The best thing you can do is be nice to the new friend and hope it works out but if you begin to  belittle their friend you know whose side they will be on and besides that they will think you are unreasonable and will feel bad at you and love their new friend that much more. The less you can say the better because you are not going to change their minds. Only time will do that.
That does not mean to forget all rules. To keep the friend they must also adhere to your curfew and rules.
Sometimes the new friend may have an unhappy situation at home that you do not know about and want to stay at your house more than you like but maybe that is because they are happier at your place than theirs. Sometimes they hate to go home knowing what they will face.
It’s a sad situation when your child had rather be at someone else’s house than yours. We need to pay special attention to our children and try to understand their feelings. They hurt deeply during those teenage years. They are neither grown nor a child any more and that’s very frustrating without you condemning their friend they think they love. There are no certain rules to follow except be as gentle with your child as you can be. Hold off the screaming and cussing.
You will only make it worse. Give them time and they will see for themselves.
Try to keep that bond in place as they grow. They need you in those maturing years more than ever. They need to hear encouraging words from you if you want happy children. Take time to really know your child. You can discipline them without what they will consider hate. You do not have to raise your voice to state your rules for when you do a big argument will ensue and leave everyone unhappy. Start with “I love you but.”  
Those years are bad for everybody, maybe the parents more than the kids but we need to “keep it down” as well as we can. Try to save that sweet relationship you once had with them. Later everyone will be glad.

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