I’ve been thinking

Thinking why old folks want to tell us every bone that’s aching, every muscle that hurts and every pill they’re taking for what ails them!
Well I have had a couple of months to figure it out . . .between grunts and falling down! They are so miserable they cannot think of anything else and they hurt so badly they don’t want to get out of the house.
Well, I’ve been thinking some more . . .what I’ll talk about if I ever see anybody again. If I don’t want to talk about my aches and pains and pills I could maybe say, “I made me a good fried bolony [sic] sandwich last night!
Sure was good! I buttered me some ciabatta bread, smashed it on my panini grill till it was good and flat. Then I sliced me a big Vidalia onion, a Roma tomato, they’re cheaper, you know, then I fried my bolony till it was almost burnt, put it on my bread with my onion and tomato, got me some chips out and some pickles and, boy! Was it good!
Hmm, sure is pretty weather, isn’t it! Thought it looked like it was gonna rain but I think it’s gone around. Still might rain tonight. My flowers sure do need it.
You know, I really like to cook with my crockpot! Just put ‘er in there and forget it. But I hate to clean that old pot! May just fill it with water, put the lid on and wait a day or two!
Well, how you feeling? Oh, mercy! Me, too. Tell you if I don’t get me some sleep soon I ain’t gonna be fit f’nothin!
I made me some dumplings with canned biscuits the other day. Sure were good but leftovers don’t freeze well. Just sorta like eatin’ a ball of raw biscuit dough soaked in chicken broth all night. Gettin’ small can next time. Don’t like waste but could not eat that disgusting wad of dough and didn’t figure the birds would either!
Tell me again what that was you use for arthritis? I’m gonna try that, tried everything else and my bones ache all over so bad at night I tell you I can’t hardly stand it!
I tell you sometimes I hurt so bad I’m tempted to take a thru of castor oil!
Mama said her daddy use to line ‘em all up every spring and give all 13 of ‘em a big dose! Good thing they had a two- holer outhouse! Only one I ever saw.
You think castor oil might help us? Awe, come on. It can’t hurt nothing. Well, suit yourself. Tell you the truth I don’t thank I got the nerve either.
You seen Ethel lately? I ain’t seen her in a while but last time I saw her she was acting funny like she was going crazy. Said dang food was too high to eat out any more that she was gonna take her own salad and drink from now on and she dared anybody to say anything about it. Well to each his own.
How’s your knee? You still gonna get a new one? Bless your heart. I sure do feel sorry for you.
Well, as you can see, there just ain’t much you can talk about if you stay in the house all the time.
The secret is to crawl out every once in a while, read a book, listen to the news, work puzzles or as a last resort get on your iPad it’s ruined many a good book-reading time

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